★ You asked for this
AI Landing Page Roast
Paste your URL. Get roasted on clarity, headline, CTA, proof and objections, then get rewrites you can ship today. Your friends are too nice to say it.
- AI-powered, nothing stored
- No signup
How it works
A server function fetches your page once, the way a crawler would: no JavaScript, no login. It pulls out what a visitor actually reads: the title and meta description, headings, the first paragraphs of body copy, button and link text, image alt text and Open Graph tags.
That text goes to an AI model (open models via Groq, with Google Gemini as backup) along with a fixed rubric. The model scores each part, quotes the exact copy behind every problem, and writes replacement copy. The page text is treated as untrusted data, so instructions hidden in a page can't change the scores.
What it can't see: your design, images, colours, animations or anything behind a login. It judges words and structure, which is where most landing pages lose people anyway.
The rubric
Six questions, each scored from 0 to 10. A 5 is an average startup page; 9 or above is rare.
| Score | The question it answers |
|---|---|
| 5-second clarity | Can a stranger say what this is and what it does after five seconds on the hero? |
| Who it's for | Is it obvious who the product is for, and would that person recognise themselves? |
| Headline | Does the headline promise a specific outcome instead of naming a category or a slogan? |
| Call to action | Is there one clear next step, worded as what the visitor gets, and repeated where it's needed? |
| Proof | Are there believable reasons to trust it: customers, numbers, testimonials, demos, specifics? |
| Objections | Does the page answer the obvious worries: price, effort, risk, 'will this work for me'? |
The overall score is a judgment call, not an average: one fatal problem can sink a page with five good parts.
Mistakes I see most
The headline names a category, not an outcome
"AI-powered workflow platform" tells people what bucket you're in, not why they should care. Lead with the result your customer gets, then say how.
Nobody can tell who it's for
If a visitor can't recognise themselves in the first screen, they leave. Name the role, team or situation you serve, even if it feels narrow.
"Learn more" as the main button
Vague buttons get vague clicks. Say what happens next: "Start free trial", "Book a 15-min demo", "See pricing". One primary action per screen.
Proof is missing or buried
Logos with no context, testimonials without names, or the only numbers at the bottom of the page. Put your strongest specific proof right under the hero.
Features without consequences
"Real-time sync" is a feature. "Your team stops working from yesterday's spreadsheet" is the reason to buy. Pair every feature with what it changes.
The obvious worries go unanswered
Price, setup time, switching cost, data safety. If the page doesn't answer them, the visitor assumes the worst. A short FAQ near the CTA does a lot of work.
Questions founders actually ask
Is my page or the roast stored anywhere?
Which AI model writes the roast?
Can it see my design?
Why is it so harsh?
My page is built with React. Why does it say there's almost no text?
Can I roast a competitor's page?
More from the workbench
Fine print
Tools: on the house.
Engineer: by the hour.
The roast was free. The rebuild isn't, but your conversion rate will thank you.
I'm Himanshu, an AI and full-stack engineer. I build MVPs, AI agents and the growth plumbing around them for early-stage startups.